Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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