So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
