wanna go halves on a baby?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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