As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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