she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
