i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
