Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
