In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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