Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
