She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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