He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
