You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
