forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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