I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize