Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
