Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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