somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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