I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have fence marks all over my body
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
