If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
