Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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