I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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