Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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