I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
