There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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