I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this boner is exhausting
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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