Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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