my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
