where am i from again
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
