i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wish my penis had a tongue
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
