Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
