Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize