i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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