With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
