Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
