So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
