that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
