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I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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