If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
