And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
