Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
