Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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