Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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