Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
