You smell like stripper and shame
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
