Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
