I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
