im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
