Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
