When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
