My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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