Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize