he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
