we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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