Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
