Got a toothbrush?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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