He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
