just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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