I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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