Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
