nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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