Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
