I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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