Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
